REVISED AND EXPANDED EDITION

Pagan parents are pioneers in many ways. As pagans, we are living a healthy and growing spiritual tradition with great potential for all of us. As parents, we have the opportunity to lead the way in raising happy, healthy, connected children. Much of modern society is sadly lacking in respect, honor, and community, and we can begin to return that to our reality, through how we live our lives and how we raise our children.

Our children truly are our future. Not only do they carry on our genes and family names, but they also will be the ones to develop modern paganism and continue the Ancient Ways in their lives. How they are raised plays an important role in who they become. As parents, we can choose to raise wounded kids who conform to the current mainstream culture or we can do our best to create an environment that supports them in healthy, loving, and spiritual ways.

Expanded and revised edition. By Kristen Madden. 276 pages.

FROM THE INSIDE FLAP

Dandelion Fuzz Wishes: Elemental Air Magic for Young Children For the baby or young toddler, dandelion fuzz can be the tool for their very first natural magic. Dandelions grow in almost all areas and most of us are familiar with making wishes while blowing the fuzz from them at the end of their season. This is very similar to the wish-spells associated with blowing out birthday candles. Just as in any form of magic, belief and emotion are vital to the success of a dandelion fuzz wish and, with very young children, a parent may need to initially provide this.

Dandelion Fuzz Wish

Before going out to find a dandelion in fuzz, decide on the wish you and your child will be making. Then go outside with that wish in your minds and ask to be led to the dandelion that wants to help make that wish come true.

Ask before picking the dandelion of your choice. When permission is given, pick it with a prayer of thanks. If your child is able, have him or her say thank you along with you as you pick the flower.

Hold the dandelion by its stem and have the child hold it gently with you. An older child can hold the plant alone. Repeat the wish out loud. If your child is old enough, tell them to imagine the wish growing really big in their head. Then blow the wish out into the dandelion fuzz, and watch as it is carried off into the air.

Tell your child that the wish is now part of the fuzz and the air will carry it to the Great Spirit or God and Goddess.

EXCERPTED FROM PAGAN PARENTING

Incarnation

The word incarnate means to have a physical body. Notice that this word doesn’t mean to be a physical body. Clearly the definition implies that there is something that existed before the body and has taken on this new form. That something is the soul or spirit and the process of incarnation actually begins well before conception and continues beyond birth.

An understanding of this process allows us to determine how best to introduce certain religious or spiritual elements to our children—and when. It is also extremely valuable to keep in mind when creating a safe and healthy environment for children. The merging of spirit and body is gradual and mirrors the development of a child’s physical, emotional, and mental capacities.

The spirit greatly influences the physical body, just as the body and life experiences influence the spirit. However, the energy systems that develop while we inhabit a physical body would not come into being without that body. It is a little like trying to decide whether the chicken or the egg came first.

Many people agree that the two systems begin to develop either at the moment of conception or at the point when the spirit decides to incarnate into a body that has already been conceived. From that point on, the spirit begins the process of integrating with the body. When the initial contact between spirit and developing body is made, an energetic link is established between the two. Some people see an energetic womb created around the embryo at this time; others see the beginnings of an aura.

During the course of pregnancy, the incoming spirit is generally present in the home and anywhere the mother-to-be goes. The spirit may show up at any point, even before conception. However, it is much more common that the child-to-be settles into the home during either the first or second trimester.

Integration

As the baby’s body develops, the link between spirit and body is strengthened. The spirit becomes more and more bound to the body. This dramatically affects the energy of body and spirit. No longer two separate systems, they merge to become something greater than the sum of their parts.

The moment when the spirit is fully integrated into the new body seems to vary. Some psychic healers have stated that this occurs instantaneously around the time of the quickening, or when the mother first feels the baby’s movements. For many women, this is the case. However, for just as many other women, this process is a more gradual experience that may not be complete until the third trimester. And what’s more—this process continues as the spirit-body system develops all the way through adolescence.

The spirit actually begins to merge with the energy field of the mother most commonly during the third trimester, although this can vary widely. Once this happens, the spirit becomes far less apparent as a separate being within the home. Psychically sensitive mothers may report experiencing a feeling of dualism, similar to that of the merging between person and spirit guide or God and Goddess among priests and priestesses. However, mothers and other family members are sometimes concerned that the spirit has left them and worry for the well-being of the unborn child.

As the energy field of the mother alters to accommodate the incoming spirit, her energy is dramatically altered. In addition to hormonal changes that are interrelated with these energetic changes, a pregnant woman must deal with an expanded energy field and opening chakra systems. As her energy, or aura, opens to merge with the incoming spirit, she is also open to the energies in her personal environment

Pre-Natal Communication

Communication with your baby-to-be may start much earlier than you expect. Pre-conception communications are fairly common, and they are not limited to the mother. A large number of fathers-to-be have contact with the incoming spirit both before conception and during pregnancy. While some of these contacts are simply the awareness that a spirit has chosen its intended parents, others have a definite intent. Sometimes the purpose of these contacts seems designed to bring future parents together. Other communications are more specific, often regarding a name for the baby.

Whether or not parents are aware of pre-conception contact, a great many experience dreams and other psychic messages during pregnancy. I had constant communication with our son during my pregnancy. He showed up when I was almost two months pregnant. Our contact began with a dream I had at about one-and-a-half months pregnant. I dreamed of “the baby.” I could not tell if the baby was male or female, but it was blonde with blue eyes and full of light. This is the perfect description of our son. He has the most amazing blue eyes, though his hair gets darker every year.

I wrote in my journal: “We were out somewhere; it was approximately four months old. I was speaking to someone, and the baby spoke to me, helping me to explain something. I was amazed that it spoke like a very wise adult so early.” I went on to have several more “speaking” dreams of our son. As time went on, the dreams became more involved and intense. As my pregnancy progressed, so did my contact with Karl. He began to be a very distinct presence in our home at around four months of pregnancy. He was a huge and imposing mass of energy with a reddish tinge in our home. The color was very interesting particularly since my parents and I all saw it as red or reddish hair during dreaming. I generally saw it as strawberry-blonde. He has an incredibly strong life force that, even now, can manifest as a beautiful true red in his energy field. In shamanic societies, it is common for the baby’s name to be received by the mother, usually through dreams. If the parents do not receive a name for the child, the shaman will often go in search of the child’s name through dreaming or shamanic journeying. In my family, a child’s name is often received as a knowing during pregnancy. In speaking with other metaphysical mothers, I have discovered that this is far more common than we may realize. Many mothers tell me that both they and their husbands or partners have received the names of their children well before delivery. This occurs in a variety of ways, including through dreams, visions, meditations, and simple intuitive feelings. Like many new parents, my husband and I went around and around trying to decide on the right name for our son. Karl made it all very easy for us. When I was between six and seven months pregnant, I began thinking of adding the name Carl to the list. We had never considered this name, but I had the distinct feeling this was the baby’s idea. I was ambivalent toward the name but appreciated that it was also a family name on my mother’s side. One night around this same period of time, I was awakened in the middle of the night. As I walked through the hallway, I met the huge presence that had taken up residence in our home during my pregnancy. He was adamant that his name must be Karl and it must be spelled with a “K.” There was no questioning his insistence and the fact that it was obviously very important to him. That was the end of that.

Psychic Effects of Pregnancy

Along with increased hormone levels, this can cause some women to be more emotional than usual. As is true when we menstruate, women are open to energies and emotions around us. We can easily pick up the feelings or thoughts of others without recognizing that these are not our stuff.

Because of this, it is important to keep your environment as consistently balanced and supportive as possible during pregnancy. Not only is the mother vulnerable to stress and unwanted energies, but the incoming spirit has not yet developed the necessary psychic shields to prevent the spiritual and physical damage that can result from an unhealthy atmosphere.

Many mothers will experience one or more kundalini risings during this time period. Throughout my second and third trimesters, and particularly during my last two months of pregnancy, the kundalini energy was very active along my spine. It was uncomfortable for me to lie down in certain positions because the energy moving up my spine was so intense.

This activation of kundalini energy accompanies the opening of the chakras and an increased receptivity to alternate realities. Many pregnant women often report that they are considerably more psychic or intuitive during pregnancy. This is beyond the connection to the unborn child, and carries over to all aspects of their lives. This receptivity also appears to increase as the pregnancy progresses.

Although I was always psychically sensitive, in my journal I recorded that I was becoming even more so throughout my pregnancy. There was a dramatic increase in telepathy and intuition during my third trimester. This coincided with Karl’s integration into his physical body. It seemed that as I expanded to accommodate his energy field, I was also wide open to other people’s thoughts and energies.

Not all women experience an increase in psychic awareness during pregnancy. Some women find quite the opposite is true for them. In pregnancies where the incoming spirit fully merges with its body at an early stage, the mother’s energy tends to focus inward. Her energy is almost entirely involved in protecting the fetus and growing the new body.

Protection of both child and mother is another common reason for a shutting down of psychic awareness during pregnancy. My friend Kethry is very aware that she had been pregnant with the spirit of one of her daughters and miscarried. Several months later, she became pregnant with her daughter-to-be again. She shut herself down psychically in order to protect both herself and her baby from another miscarriage.

To make matters worse, when she was in California during a serious earthquake, Kethry felt her psychic shields shatter and effectively buffered herself and her unborn child by shutting down completely. This psychic buffering in not uncommon among pregnant women, especially in times of crisis. Kethry notes that her second daughter began the process of unwinding her from her “cocoon.”

Many women experience the integration of the incoming spirit during the early months of pregnancy. But it appears that the majority of pregnant mothers feel this during the third trimester. Some women became very afraid when they noticed the lack of that external spirit. Some were frantic that something had gone wrong with the pregnancy. A few women even went in for an additional medical examination to be sure the baby was still alive.

Seven days before the birth of our son, I wrote in my journal that he had been hanging around a lot less recently and seemed to be more in his own body. It was an unusual feeling. I went from having a constant companion outside to carrying a being-in-transition within my body. As he integrated into his body, his energy was completely focused on becoming that new person.

Karl had an enormous energy field when he showed up at our house. It seemed to be difficult for him to fully compact himself into that tiny body. It is interesting to note that toward the end of that time period, my uterus grew twice the normal rate in one month. My doctors were concerned enough about this growth spurt that they had me go through the full eight-hour test for gestational diabetes, which might explain an unusual increase in the size of the baby. We also got to see another ultrasound of him. All tests were normal. Karl had decided that it was time to move in.

Prenatal Attunement

During pregnancy and early infancy, children respond best to sensory input and symbolic images. They are not yet ready for the language-based communication that is the norm in this reality. Thanks to ultrasound, we now have scientific evidence that babies as young as seven weeks react to external stimuli.

Many people from scientists to parents-to-be have experimented with reading stories or playing music to babies in utero. My husband and I did the same. In the beginning of my third trimester, my husband sang and spoke to our son through my belly. Our baby definitely moved in response to Dave’s voice. When Dave switched sides, Karl moved toward his voice. When Dave sang, Karl squirmed.

Guided imagery, music, and voice are frequently used to stimulate an unborn child early in the pregnancy. Many people today use these methods as an early “educational” tool to give their children a step up academically. But I find them to be great tools for strengthening the energetic connections parents have with their children and in developing intuitive abilities.

I suggest simply seeking attunement with your unborn child at first, especially if you are early in your pregnancy. Some books direct parents seemingly to quiz the unborn baby with psychic games. Certainly, these tests can be beneficial in developing your own intuition. However, unless the baby is far enough along for you to ask it to kick or move as answer, there is no easy way to be sure whether the images you are receiving are from the baby or your own intuition.

Furthermore, we are the ones who need validation for “extra-sensory” perception. These incoming beings may find these games amusing or play along for our benefit, but they need no training to communicate outside everyday physical reality. It is the everyday physical reality that they will need to relearn. What will benefit everyone most is the fostering of an early relationship built on love and trust. The ability to use non-physical senses can only strengthen that relationship and make communication more effective, throughout the lives of all involved.

With that in mind, I have outlined several exercises and guided visualizations for use during pregnancy. These need not be limited to the pregnant woman, but I do recommend that anyone else planning to use these exercises let the mother-to-be know before beginning. If she is unaware that someone is working with the child within her, she may be unnerved or even frightened at the additional presence or energy changes that may occur. If the child-to-be is present within your home but not yet integrated into the body, you may also wish to use your own practice of meditation or shamanic journeying to communicate with this being.

Attunement to the baby in the womb

Initially to be done in a safe space where you will be undisturbed for at least one hour. Once a psychic relationship begins to develop, this may be done anywhere and anytime. It is beneficial to use during times of stress for mother or child, or in uncomfortable surroundings.

If you would like to do this exercise with a partner, choose one of you to lead the exercise with spoken directions or tape record it to play back during the meditation. Hold hands or sit very close to one another throughout the exercise.

Make yourself very comfortable. Take care of any bathroom or food needs ahead of time. Light some incense or candles. Cast a Circle or simply call in the Spirits of the directions, if you feel more comfortable this way.

Take a deep breath and relax. Count yourself down from ten to one, stopping periodically to remind yourself to take a deep breath and go deeper. Visualize a bubble forming, just before your face. Blow all your fears, stresses, irritations—any negative energies you may be carrying around—into this bubble. Watch the bubble grow and begin to rise. Blow the last of these energies into the bubble and watch as it flies off toward the sun, carrying these things away from you. Feel very centered and relaxed.

Feel the energy of the Earth, flowing up through the soles of your feet (or the base of your spine if you are seated on the floor). Feel and visualize this light filling you completely. It flows out your pores and your eyes and out through the top of your head.

Become aware of the energy of the Universe flowing into you through the top of your head and filling your body. Feel and visualize this light filling you completely. It flows out your pores and your eyes and down through the soles of your feet (or the base of your spine).

Visualize and feel these energies flowing through you at the same time. See them as balanced and centering you. You are energized and revitalized.

Now, turn your attention inward to your womb. Be aware of any sensations or images that come to mind. Send a gentle stream of love and peacefulness to the child within you. Visualize an image of you, smiling and happy with this child in your life. If you are practicing this with a partner, both of you should visualize the same images together. Follow the image of mother with an image of the partner.

As you progress with this exercise and as your pregnancy progresses, you may choose to use this exercise to introduce your child to the rest of the family. They do not need to be present, only in your mental images. You may also use this exercise to learn more about your child by being very aware of images or thoughts and by asking questions. Feel free to experiment and discover what works best for you.

Dreaming Your Baby #1

I recommend keeping a pen and paper beside your bed so that you may write down your dreams as soon as you wake up. Keep in mind that you may awaken during the night and should write it down before falling back to sleep.

As you lie down to go to sleep, count yourself down from ten to one, stopping periodically to remind yourself to take a deep breath and go deeper. If you find you are still tense from the day, count down again from ten to one. When you are very relaxed and nearing sleep, tell yourself with belief and intent that you will meet with your unborn child tonight during dreaming and that you will remember it upon awakening.

Turn your attention to the child in your womb. If you are not the mother, focus your attention on your image of the baby and continue as directed. Visualize your intention to meet with this being in a dream that night and send it with the feel of a question. Be specific that you are asking the child to meet you in a dream.

Allow yourself to fall asleep.

Dreaming Your Baby #2

Before going to sleep, count yourself down from ten to one as usual. Once you are relaxed and centered, take up a fresh glass of water between both hands and hold it just above eye level. With eyes closed, visualize this water filling with your intention to meet your child during dreaming. State specifically that you will remember the dream(s) upon awakening and then drink the water. Allow yourself to fall asleep.

**A pregnant mom may want to use ½ or ¼ glass of water to prevent a late-night bathroom run.

Meeting Your Child’s Spirit Guides

Allow at least one hour when you will not be disturbed. This exercise can also be done through either of the above dreaming techniques.

Make yourself very comfortable. Take care of any bathroom or other needs ahead of time. Light some incense or candles. Cast a Circle or call in the Spirits of the directions, if you feel more comfortable this way.

Imagine that you are in your favorite place of relaxation. This may be a real or imagined place, but it should be somewhere that you feel perfectly safe and comfortable.

Call upon your own spirit guides to join you in this journey to meet the guides of your child. Be aware of any images or thoughts, as well as what guides show up. It may help to imagine a doorway or an elevator for your guides to use as an entryway, if they choose.

Speak with your guides and let them know exactly what your intentions are during this journey. Ask their guidance, protection, and assistance.

Invite your child’s guides to join you in this place. It may help to imagine a doorway or an elevator for your guides to use as an entryway, if they choose. Be aware of any images or thoughts, as well as what beings may show up.

When you meet with a being, ask for confirmation that this is one of the guides of this child. You may receive confirmation as a feeling or as an indication from your guides or the being in question.

Take a good look at this being and ask who it is (or what it is). Accept whatever is given in response. Ask any questions you may have regarding this child or your relationship with this child. You may choose to ask what you can do to help this child succeed with the current life plan or about a past-life connection. You may also want to ask for their assistance in creating a safe, healthy pregnancy and delivery for both you and your child. Ask whatever you feel compelled to and accept whatever is given in response.

Thank this being (or beings) for meeting with you. Tell them of your love for this child and that you are open to them in any way that may benefit this child. Say your goodbyes and thank them once more.

You may wish to review this experience with your own guides before returning to everyday reality.

If you used a countdown, count yourself back up from one to ten. If you are using a tape, allow the drumming to return you to this reality.

One last note, before we move on to the child after birth: It is a good idea to keep a journal of these exercises as well as any dreams or other experiences you have. This is an excellent way to record your experiences and your development on these levels of being. It can be invaluable in determining your personal symbolism as well as honing your accuracy. You may wish to keep separate journals for each child: to be given to them along with other baby books when they grow up.

© 2004 Kristin Madden

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